Honor Your Authentic Selves, Your Gentle Selves

Many know the myth of Cupid slinging arrows to make love connections. But I prefer to imagine Athena, goddess of knowledge and war (though I try to ignore the latter), throwing spears of insight and knowledge that connect and engage us to think deeper. 

A few weeks ago, as I stretched myself into new yoga positions, my teacher encouraged us by saying the following, “Honor your authentic selves, your gentle selves.”

Those words stopped me in my serpentine stretch. Athena had shot her arrow. I understood the context—she was, unlike yoga teachers I had experienced decades ago, asking us to stretch only to the point that it was helping us, and not to be hard on ourselves when we were unable to achieve the exact positioning she demonstrated. She was asking us to assess what we needed and honor our bodies at that moment. The sentiment and her words moved me to tears and sent me on a journey, asking friends and others: How often are you allowed to be your authentic self, your gentle self? They, too, were stymied by the sentiment.

In response, someone asked, "What do you mean by gentle?” And so we discussed it—with some friends over coffee, some on a walk, others via text, etc. It became a conversation that expanded to others I didn’t yet know, and it made us dig deep into our philosophical wells. We came to agree that gentle does not mean weak; gentle allows us to expand our possibilities and potential. We also agreed that gentle is what we would like to be with ourselves, our friends, our spouses, our children, our students, and our neighbors—but the armor we put on to power through the expectations of our lives, in order to achieve all we must do each and every day, forces us to be rigid and—unfortunately—to share less of ourselves and experience less of what others can give.  

If gentle means—as one of my friends understood and expressed it—to not be rushed, to be polite and soothing, then I know for a fact that I was absolutely my authentic self as an educator, mom, wife, and more—but I was not my gentle self. I am beginning to deeply wonder if the true secret to finding the absolute best in each of us is to first begin to unlearn the years of perfectly placed armor, to embrace our gentle selves. Perhaps then we can be truly authentic. 

I leave you with my own teacher’s words of wisdom: Honor your gentle self. And watch for Athena’s spears of wisdom in your own life—if you’re open to their message, they will take you on a priceless journey of inspiration and introspection.